I am in a gossamer state,

Not sure if I am dreaming or awake

Where everything is white and dull 

Yet vividly tinted and glimmering with shimmer.

My mind is simultaneously still 

yet racing.

It’s dark. 

It’s light. 

It’s in between.

The area around me is tranquil yet violent, 

Heavy and light, 

Chaotic and silent,

And I stand tall in the middle of the serene whirlwind

My heart calm and my hair blowing wildly

Young yet old,

Tethered yet free

Tired yet awake.

It’s hot. 

It’s cold. 

It’s just right.

The grass under my bare feet is soft and hard, 

Wet and dry, 

Green and brown.

My light shines and dims, 

Disappears and reappears 

Just like the searchlights circling in the black distance.

It rains. 

It snows. 

It gusts.

It clears.

And I am the blue sky behind it all.

One might ask, how could this be?

How can two polar opposites exist in unison at the same time?

They exist because I exist.

I am,

And that’s all I need in this right-now moment:

To be.

To breathe. 

To exist.

I am content.

I am.

Thank you for joining me on my journey. I’m glad you are here.

With light and love,

Jill

“I Am” was posted on jillocone.com on August 30, 2023. Views and opinions expressed in this post are solely those of the writer, who was not endorsed or compensated in any manner by any entity; views do not represent any of my employers. Copyright 2023, Jill Ocone. All rights reserved. Contact Jill with reposting, licensing, and publishing inquiries using any of the links below.