I often joke that the phrase, “I am always in the way” is the running title of my future memoir because I find myself in the way more so than not.
It’s nothing new. Ever since I can remember, I have often been an unintentional yet awkward barrier to movement despite my awareness of where my feet stand and the space around me. The irony is that sometimes when I move to get out of the way, I end up more in the way.
It’s quite frustrating when I unwillingly transform into a giant rock stuck in the middle of a free-flowing stream that blocks the currents of water, traffic, and imagination. My exasperation spills over, and when it mixes with the noise of distractions and the crippling chatter of internal condemnation, I become hindered physically, emotionally, mentally, creatively, and spiritually.
Elixirs and apothecaries failed to free me, as did wizards, hokum, and positive mindsets.
Last year, however, I unexpectedly encountered the one magical object that could unstick my stuck: my yoga mat.
My yoga mat allows me to breathe into places I wasn’t aware existed and provides the space I didn’t know I needed. Growth invariably happens as I remain present and rooted upon my mat while pursuing my right-now self’s desire for peace.
My mat is my own country, the continent of ME with a map full of gleaming treasures and plenty of bulldozers to obliterate barriers and boundaries. I am at home on my mat, and in the space around my mat during community practices, others are at home on their own magnificent continents of themselves.
My fortuitous discovery is where healing began, a healing that led me to nurture the brilliances of my mind, my body, my spirit, my soul, my life force, and my being, with each of their colors kaleidoscoping together while igniting their individual, radiant hues.
From my mat, I learned to appreciate my body instead of being at constant war with it. I formerly regarded myself as being trapped inside a defective vessel cursed with autoimmune disease and other flaws deemed unacceptable by society. Now I regard those curses as blessings, as they have taught me resilience. With my new awareness, I accept my beautiful vessel as a glorious container for my kindhearted soul and unabashed spirit teeming with authenticity and incredible love.
Shame and regret no longer have a seat upon my mat, nor does the jabbering voice of self-doubt. I am at peace with all parts of my journey, including those I did not choose, because I did the best I could with what I knew in those times.
My intuition assures me my gifts both on and off the mat are precious and needed. Creativity and goodness flow through me and from me, and my mat helps my spark to kindle the light in others.
The space of my mat led me to ME, and I don’t have to run away from myself anymore.
Now I relish the opportunity to be in the way as my healing continues.
I am indebted to my yoga teacher and mentor, Katie Morgan, who sparked my journey to becoming a trauma-informed 200-hour yoga teacher by lighting my path with her magical fireflies.
While I am unsure of where my yoga teaching path will lead, I welcome every opportunity to connect with others who might be seeking a similar experience on or off the mat. Please reach out if you are interested in talking with me about possible opportunities for growth, classes, workshops, or movement.
If you are local, I’d love for you to join me on August 15 in downtown Toms River from 6:00 PM to 8:00 PM at Garden State Distillery! We’re planning a fun evening with short readings, Q & A, and mixing & mingling.
Thank you to those who have purchased and/or read Enduring the Waves ! If you haven’t, I guarantee you’ll make at least one connection to Kelly’s story. Click on the book cover above for ordering links and more, including a Reader’s Guide (kind of like a study guide for the book, should you be interested in a deeper relationship with it). It’s a great beach read, and since it’s beach season, what are you waiting for? Order it. already!
Please reach out to me via email (jillocone@gmail.com) if you are interested in having me speak or present at your next book club or community group meeting. I’m happy to meet you!
Thank you for joining me on my journey. I’m so glad you are here.
With light and love,
Jill
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“My Yoga Mat’s Magic” was posted on jillocone.com on July 29, 2024. Views and opinions expressed in this post are solely those of the writer, who was not endorsed or compensated in any manner by any entity; views do not represent any of my employers. Copyright 2024, Jill Ocone. All rights reserved. Contact Jill with reposting, licensing, and publishing inquiries using any of the links below.
Jill Ocone 