When all of this started in March, I foolishly believed that society was perhaps moving towards healing and entering a new era of empathy and wellbeing…

I was wrong.

Dead wrong.

Instead, together we’re traveling alone through uncertain waters brimming with sheer hatred and hostility.

And I hate it.

The self-centered outnumber the selfless, and they are screaming and yelling and commenting and shoving and fighting and judging and disrespecting and acting downright nasty and mean to others just because…

But nobody is listening.

I want to scream that never has a social media comment or rant changed anyone’s opinion, so just stop with the public shaming and contempt, already. It’s unnecessary and serves no purpose other than to aggrandize egos and provide a false sense of self-worth.

I want to cry out at the top of my lungs, “Shut up! Just shut up, already and be nice to each other!”

But nobody is listening.

I want to return to my classroom and safely do my job to the best of my ability while keeping all stakeholders safe, especially my students, without being subjected to hateful maxims such as if teachers die from COVID, taxes will go down.

But I cannot publicly respond to these anonymous wishes for my death, which would supposedly benefit the tax base and erroneously result in a little more pocket change in society’s wallet, because as an educator, I don’t have a voice or matter to the masses.

Keyboard warriors want me dead just because I am a teacher.

It’s a waste of time for me to defend myself or apologize for COVID’s existence, since teachers are the reason for everything that’s wrong with society…

Because nobody is listening.

I’ll do what’s expected of me as the new school year begins as I always do: I’ll sit back and continue to take it without defending myself as the kicks and disrespect keep on coming and pummel me over, and over, and over, and so on, ultimately leaving me with nothing but a feeling of ultimate failure and a dreadfully bruised soul.

After all, isn’t that what I signed up for when I foolishly decided to become an educator? 

How the hell did we get here?

I know the answer, but it will fall on deaf ears…

Because nobody is listening.

Excuse me, now, while I shift my priorities to myself and my well-being because…

I am not listening…

to the naysayers…

to the ignorance…

to the doubters…

to the negativity…

to the disrespect…

to the selfish demands of others…

Not anymore.

Thanks for joining me on my journey. I am glad you’re here.

With gratitude,

Jill

“Nobody is Listening” was posted on jillocone.com and on soulseaker.com on August 21, 2020. Views and opinions expressed in this post are solely those of the writer, who was not endorsed or compensated in any manner by any entity; views do not represent any employer. Copyright 2020, Jill Ocone. All rights reserved. Contact jillocone@gmail.com with reposting, licensing, and publishing inquiries.